It can be helpful to ask yourself what you have learnt in your life, and especially in childhood, about emotions. Think about the following:
- What emotions were off limits?
- What emotions were openly expressed?
- What did the adults around you do or say when you were upset?
- What strategies did people around you do to deal with difficult emotions?
- Do you still use the same strategies you learnt many years ago to deal with difficult emotions?
There is no such thing as the perfect ‘emotional’ upbringing, so please don’t think someone somewhere is leading a perfect life where they effortlessly sail through life’s emotional punches. We all learn some helpful and unhelpful things. These questions are just a way of beginning to understand the judgements you may carry with you, and whether they still serve you.